Kicking you when you’re down
Have you ever received a note from someone that was designed to put you down, to set you straight and to make you do something the writer thinks will make everything better? It is fascinating to understand how much some people try to control us and our decisions when we can step back and examine the situation, instead of getting caught up in the emotions as the writer intended. Perhaps your family tries to control what you do and use comments that are critical and hurtful. Since they can’t accept what you stand for or understand what you’re trying to accomplish, they might try character assassination and other forms of control to adjust your life to their liking. They don’t recognize their control issues and have a major blind spot in this area of their life…. Everything goes acceptably well as long as you cow to their wishes? Sometimes we find ourselves in very close family relationships and even married to someone like that.
I got one of these letters from someone who clearly knows what’s best for me. The comments might be something you can relate to. I edited them only slightly, removing the names of my children and other family members. The words that are present here are exactly what I received. Please note some of the undertones and overtones used by the writer to take control of the “problem” they think they are addressing.
…you have another person that was even closer to you at one time, and you should be helping to lessen her financial burden. You need to get a job and start to grow up and make something of your life. You’re not a good example to your children. God doesn’t owe you to make you rich. He said, if any man doesn’t work, neither shall he eat.
I don’t want to hurt you Byron, but you need to get on with your life, and try to dig yourself out of the financial mess you made. No other woman will want you, as you don’t have anything to offer anyone. Your prosperity gospel will never save you or give you a good life. It’s a Ponzi scheme, and only the ones at the top make money stealing it from others. God never promised us riches, he said in the world we shall have tribulation and persecution.
Do you notice any control issues in the writing? The writer uses the God card, the status-quo card, the relationship card and clearly has a negative mindset about anything outside of their definition of work. Clearly, in the writers view, I am unfit as a father, lover, husband, employee, financial adviser, investor and God follower. I should expect nothing better than tribulation and persecution in my life while I’m starving to death.
Kicking you when you’re down can lead to amazing Next Steps!
Interestingly enough, this is exactly how I came to start TakeTheNextBigStep.com and develop the systems to help others Take The Next Big Step in their life and to overcome major life issues in the first place! If I had no issues with life as I was living it, I would still be living it…if I could. Not everything that happens in our life is within our control. For example, it is impossible to stop a divorce that your partner is hell bent on pursuing. I worked diligently to try. It also is not possible to keep working in a job that no longer exists. I tried to do that also. Consequently, I am in the words of the writer, getting on with my life, and finding it much less complicated than it once was.
Do you find yourself yearning for something better, something different than you’ve dared to try so far? Many people find themselves in this situation. Sometimes wishing we made different choices with our life and how we spend our time. Maybe someone is kicking you when you’re down too? It was recently brought to my attention that the last Baby Boomer will turn 50 years old in 2014. Right behind them, the Gen-Xers begin turning 50. No matter which group you associate yourself with, you and I have reached the stage in our life when we must decide how to spend the rest of our life.
Are you willing to spend the rest of your life the way you spent the first part of your life? What is your Next Big Step? Are you taking that step willingly, or is someone else kicking you when you’re down and controlling your decision?
Make sure you get the resources I created to help you work through major life and career issues much faster than I did. There is significant help available when you’re ready to Take The Next Big Step!
Blessings my friend! You’re worth every minute.
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