My Dilemma

My DilemmaHave you ever faced a dilemma?

Something you always wanted to do comes at a price you’re not quite sure you’re willing to pay.

Maybe you always wanted to do something, like maybe you’ve always wanted to sky dive…that’s right, you want to jump out of an airplane…so you set that goal in your bucket list.

But in the meantime, you married someone who hates the idea of you jumping out of airplanes  They even went as far as telling you … it’s either me, or the airplane jump.  If you jump, I will divorce you.

I’m not going into their issues here, the control and passive aggressive part of their demands…what I’m thinking about and addressing here is your response.

You committed to love and respect your spouse till death … and maybe jumping out of the airplane resolves the whole problem … at least in their mind, jumping will lead to your death.

It’s a convenient way to keep your vows; but most airplane jumps do not lead to instant death.  So you’ve got a real dilemma … jump and lose the love of your life


Do not jump and feel like you’ve given up part of your dream for the one you love.

Can this be a win-win, or does somebody have to lose?

Let me offer a perspective.

Your partner has a deadly fear of you taking the kind of risk that could change their life forever.  If you choose to jump at this time, you are abusing their care and concern for your well-being.  Your health and even your life is a gift to them … till death ends that relationship.

They care deeply for stability in their relationship with you.  part of that concern is probably selfish … it’s difficult to be totally unselfish in our relationships.  And there might be a time in the future when jumping from airplanes is no longer a threat to your relationship, your well-being and your life.

Your partner’s fear is real even if he or she is unable to express it as well as they or you prefer.

I suggest that you leave jumping out of airplanes on your bucket list and wait for a later time to address whether it is a good time for you to go for it.

In the meantime, find out what things you and your partner can do together to fulfill both of your bucket lists.  Working together as a team is the most important thing you can do for your relationship.

My Dilemma

I’ve struggled for over two years in my coaching business with what to do about The God Factor.  I developed systems to help you become the best you possible … but I hesitated to add the most important point.  The God Factor.

The self-help industry has a flaw in it.  Many people will tell you that you’re perfect and don’t need anything from outside yourself at all.  Some will say you are a part of God.  This notion is what I’ve struggled with all along because I am confident it misleads many people.

You are God, or you are a god or you can become a god is based on the most basic lie that sidetracks a huge number of people from being who the and you were created to be.  I am not God and I never will become one.  I do not play a god on television and you shouldn’t either.

Will saying that I read and believe the Bible and that it contains the missing piece make some people stop paying attention to me and what I offer?  Of course it will.  But doesn’t it make you just a little bit curious about why I believe The God Factor cannot be left out of my systems and the value I offer?

The self-help guru’s want one of two things from you.  They’ll give you just enough of a system to prove you don’t have enough and need to spend just a little bit more to get what you’re missing.  Or, they’ll lead you down a path saying they’ve become enlightened and you should too.  Are there any other paths?


We’re on this journey together.  I have some experiences and lessons that can save you a lot of time and hopefully some heartache as we work through our issues together.

I’m not perfect, I’m not particularly enlightened either, but I have value that I offer to you.

I believe the most important thing you and I can experience in our lifetime is connection.  We were created for relationship.  When we work through the issues that make relationships hard, we all benefit from the growing lessons we share together.

And there is one central connection we were all created for.  Without that connection, we will never find meaning and fulfillment in our life.

Come along with me as we learn about how to grow in relationship, caring and love.

In the end, all we have is relationship.

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